I’ll be honest – I found a lump in my breast months before I did anything about it. I was scared, and I told myself it was probably nothing. It actually took a lover at the time to gently push me to get it checked. This was back in 2021, right in the middle of Melbourne’s long COVID lockdowns.

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At the same time, my eldest daughter had just come out as transgender. That should’ve been a happy time for our family, a moment to celebrate her living as her true self. But, instead, everything was clouded by what turned out to be a very frightening stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis. I needed surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and an oophorectomy – an operation to remove my ovaries because my cancer was being fed by estrogen. I’ve now been on hormone therapy for 3 years, with 7 more to go.

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I’d heard about checking your breasts before, but I thought I was too young to worry. No one in my family had ever had breast cancer. I also assumed the lump would feel like a small ball, like a marble. Mine didn’t feel like that at all – it turned out I had four tumours, all joined together, filling the top half of my left breast. My nipple had even started turning inward, which I later learned is another warning sign.

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Doctors believe the cancer had only been there for about 6 months. If I’d left it much longer, things could have been much worse. That’s why I now always say: check yourself, and don’t ignore the signs.

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I was terrified – not just of dying but of what all this meant for my relationships, for dating and for how I’d feel in my body after the surgery.

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Dating is hard enough without scars, surgeries and the emotional toll of cancer. I couldn’t find much out there about intimacy and cancer, so I wrote my own book called FK with Cancer to help others like me.

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When the book came out, an Aboriginal woman who worked in prisons reached out. We’d known each other from back during my time working with the late, great Uncle Jack Charles. She asked if I’d come speak to the women about breast cancer. I had spent time with Uncle Jack in men’s prisons. He was the best storyteller. The men adored him, and he inspired so many by sharing his story of turning his life around.

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So about a year ago, I began running workshops at the Dame Phyllis Frost Centre, sharing my story and creating awareness about self-checking and how early detection saves lives. My book is also in the prison library, and sometimes our sessions turn into little book clubs.

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I’m joined in prison by my dear friend singer-songwriter Stella Donnelly, who brings her guitar and the tunes! Stella often plays music to the women’s poetry too, turning their words into powerful songs that echo long after the session ends. There’s something really special about seeing their stories come to life through music.

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These visits have been so special that we’ve decided to take them on the road. Later this year, we’re touring women’s prisons across Australia with our ‘Beautiful – Inside and Out’ project.

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‘Beautiful – Inside and Out’ is proudly presented by Treasure Chest Charity, which also supported me during treatment. Together, our mission is to use creativity and lived experience to improve breast cancer awareness and emotional wellbeing for women in the justice system.  

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If you’re reading this from a women’s prison or if you work in one and think this program could be a good fit, we’d love to hear from you. This is about community, connection and reminding each other that we are all beautiful, inside and out.

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Patrice xo