Hello, my fellow friends.

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I am 42-years-old this year and have been booting around for all my life. I thought I was living the high life, that I was invisible. My world had no boundaries, I had no boundaries and the harms I experienced were numbed by drug use.

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I self-medicated and used strategies of survival to keep myself alive, harming people in the process. I could go deeper and give many different examples, but you all know the life I am talking about. No consequential thinking and living every day like it might be your last because it might have been your last.

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Six years ago, I left prison. The pain and suffering I endured broke me: I couldn’t have contact with my kiddo, all the while detoxing while held in a cage without support, care or consideration of my complex needs or trauma.

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My child had been removed before but I was always able to still have contact and navigate my world with choice; in prison that was stripped away from me.

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I swore that under no circumstances would anyone EVER hold that power over me again; to strip me of my freedom and the liberties of seeing my kiddo. So, the fight began.

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I’m not going to say it was easy because this is a story of honesty and truth. It was painstakingly difficult; I had to look those in the eye that I loved and cared about and make amends for the suffering I had caused them.

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I had to step away from friendships that I had for decades. I wasn’t allowed back home but was bailed to live with family. I had to start again and rebuild myself, my identity and my soul.

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I practiced going slow and nurturing my mind and my body. I am forever learning and peeling back the layers of the onion uncovering more and deeper pieces of me.

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I am grateful that I gave myself the opportunity to try something different, that I chose a different life for myself, that I grabbed onto new opportunities that supported my development with willingness and pushed past the uncomfortable and the fear.

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It was me that created the change, I did it all!! Not prison: prison hurt me, prison did not offer healing or reform my behaviour. Prison deployed its violence onto me that I am still working through today.

I am now a proud member of the FIGJAM collective: we are completely peer-led and support one another through difficult times and share experiences making happy and joyous memories.

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We are the change makers! We all have lived experience of prison and are a really diverse group of women, trans and gender diverse folks. The collective was established at the end of 2022, and during this time we have made some great headway.

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FIGJAM created a five-part podcast series in partnership with 3CR community radio. We have spoken and been invited to present at several different forums, sometimes travelling (all expenses paid!) interstate. We have made submissions, engaged in research, policy reform and media.

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My heart is so incredibly full of love and hope. I am deeply inspired and motivated for the future. FIGJAM is the wind beneath my wings that allows me to fly!

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Today I see a promising future. I have created change and made my dreams a reality, but without community, support and love and kindness I could not have done it.