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I went to jail because I was a rubbish person. Having been released from jail and now rejoining society, I have realised I will never again be allowed to walk in the light with the rest of the angels.
I haven’t hurt anyone in a long time. But once, I did. And that's what matters. Those who understand me now are other criminals. Others who walk in the darkness with me. They get that I messed up and I’m so sorry. We all are. But society will view us with suspicion forever. It leaves a mark on our psyche. We don’t feel comfortable around you, because you expect us to rob you. Or disappoint you. Or let you down. You can’t trust us… we see it in your eyes.
Remanding a child in custody is not going to fix their behaviour. It's going to cement it. They will walk into the darkness with the rest of us who are cast aside. The only ones they can now relate to and feel comfortable with will be other criminals.
We aren't evil. We are just broken people. But when we are fixed, it counts for nothing. You hate the things we did. So, we are given no place in society.
Rehabilitation is pointless without forgiveness and another chance at doing right. Have you ever stopped to think, maybe some people are now committing crimes because we’re kicked out of society? When you’re not welcome in the light, well, you only have the darkness to make you feel like you belong somewhere. A place you’re not alone.
People need to belong. But people don't want us in the community. So, killers, rapists and drug dealers are forced to hang out together. Then, the naughty children, who go to jail, will be hanging out with them too. They don’t relate to society anymore. They are a part of our world now. Our culture.
The kids are troubled. So, society uses control to force them to act in a manner that is socially acceptable. This does not address why they are troubled. But they are taught that ‘might makes right’. They will remember that lesson.
In prison I saw so many people who acted like angry children. Something horrible happened in their lives and they just never emotionally developed past that point. They are still angry little kids.
Society had a chance to help them when they were 12. But it didn’t. Now they are older and have killed a person. And everyone says how horrible they are. Well, society put off helping these kids and invested instead in their criminal future.
Society left these kids behind. It put a gun to their heads and told them to be good ‘or else’.
Have you been to jail? I doubt it. You can’t conceptualise it. You don’t understand what the ‘or else’ is.
Jail is another world. A world that the longer you’re in, the more you belong. To a lot of people, it’s now home. It’s their world. Their friends are there. Their only friends. Because they have no other friends left.
So, when a kid is sent to jail, you teach them that the prison world is not so bad. And now the only friends they have are other naughty kids that will grow up to be meth dealers and enforcers.
I went to jail because I was a rubbish person. Having been released from jail and now rejoining society, I have realised I will never again be allowed to walk in the light with the rest of the angels.
I haven’t hurt anyone in a long time. But once, I did. And that's what matters. Those who understand me now are other criminals. Others who walk in the darkness with me. They get that I messed up and I’m so sorry. We all are. But society will view us with suspicion forever. It leaves a mark on our psyche. We don’t feel comfortable around you, because you expect us to rob you. Or disappoint you. Or let you down. You can’t trust us… we see it in your eyes.
Remanding a child in custody is not going to fix their behaviour. It's going to cement it. They will walk into the darkness with the rest of us who are cast aside. The only ones they can now relate to and feel comfortable with will be other criminals.
We aren't evil. We are just broken people. But when we are fixed, it counts for nothing. You hate the things we did. So, we are given no place in society.
Rehabilitation is pointless without forgiveness and another chance at doing right. Have you ever stopped to think, maybe some people are now committing crimes because we’re kicked out of society? When you’re not welcome in the light, well, you only have the darkness to make you feel like you belong somewhere. A place you’re not alone.
People need to belong. But people don't want us in the community. So, killers, rapists and drug dealers are forced to hang out together. Then, the naughty children, who go to jail, will be hanging out with them too. They don’t relate to society anymore. They are a part of our world now. Our culture.
The kids are troubled. So, society uses control to force them to act in a manner that is socially acceptable. This does not address why they are troubled. But they are taught that ‘might makes right’. They will remember that lesson.
In prison I saw so many people who acted like angry children. Something horrible happened in their lives and they just never emotionally developed past that point. They are still angry little kids.
Society had a chance to help them when they were 12. But it didn’t. Now they are older and have killed a person. And everyone says how horrible they are. Well, society put off helping these kids and invested instead in their criminal future.
Society left these kids behind. It put a gun to their heads and told them to be good ‘or else’.
Have you been to jail? I doubt it. You can’t conceptualise it. You don’t understand what the ‘or else’ is.
Jail is another world. A world that the longer you’re in, the more you belong. To a lot of people, it’s now home. It’s their world. Their friends are there. Their only friends. Because they have no other friends left.
So, when a kid is sent to jail, you teach them that the prison world is not so bad. And now the only friends they have are other naughty kids that will grow up to be meth dealers and enforcers.
Kids can’t vote, smoke or drink. But they can be taken from all their loved ones and locked up in a strange place with strange people and held prisoner. Because that’s not traumatic at all.
I really just think it’s a massive example of where our society is.
We failed them. It’s our fault.
My suggestion is to try as hard as possible to help these kids. Then try harder. The future rides on it.
When I was a kid, a court ordered me to go into counselling because of my behaviour. How do you say, “I’m being abused and bullied, and I think I’m supposed to be a girl,” to a person who looks like a teacher at school, or one of your parent’s friends. My deepest darkest secrets I can’t share with any other human, but I will tell a random white lady… are you serious?
And that’s it. They tried. And gave up. Then I went to jail for 10 years.
I think though, that I would have opened up to a person who had been through it. When I was in jail, one of the biggest things we hated was when a nice-looking lady in her twenties fresh from uni tried to ‘help’ us. No thanks. We walk in the darkness now. We wanted someone who was once a user to tell us how he crawled out of the darkness back into the light.
When you are in the darkness, you want a person who has tasted their own blood. The pain of addiction. They know. We respect them.
This person is not going to judge me. Even as a little kid, I felt like that. But unfortunately, a person like this still has no place in polite society. He probably went to jail when he was 12 too. I bet I know him.
(*Please understand, I blame me for going to jail. I failed me. I failed my family*)
Kids can’t vote, smoke or drink. But they can be taken from all their loved ones and locked up in a strange place with strange people and held prisoner. Because that’s not traumatic at all.
I really just think it’s a massive example of where our society is.
We failed them. It’s our fault.
My suggestion is to try as hard as possible to help these kids. Then try harder. The future rides on it.
When I was a kid, a court ordered me to go into counselling because of my behaviour. How do you say, “I’m being abused and bullied, and I think I’m supposed to be a girl,” to a person who looks like a teacher at school, or one of your parent’s friends. My deepest darkest secrets I can’t share with any other human, but I will tell a random white lady… are you serious?
And that’s it. They tried. And gave up. Then I went to jail for 10 years.
I think though, that I would have opened up to a person who had been through it. When I was in jail, one of the biggest things we hated was when a nice-looking lady in her twenties fresh from uni tried to ‘help’ us. No thanks. We walk in the darkness now. We wanted someone who was once a user to tell us how he crawled out of the darkness back into the light.
When you are in the darkness, you want a person who has tasted their own blood. The pain of addiction. They know. We respect them.
This person is not going to judge me. Even as a little kid, I felt like that. But unfortunately, a person like this still has no place in polite society. He probably went to jail when he was 12 too. I bet I know him.
(*Please understand, I blame me for going to jail. I failed me. I failed my family*)
The handling of Aboriginal art and the ignorance around cultural significance by prisons in Victoria is appalling. This was my experience. It happened to me more than once, and no one was ever held accountable.
I don’t want to be on Centrelink – I want to work. I will cook, clean, waitress, pick up rubbish – anything. But I cannot because of a Police Check and Working with Children’s Check.
Walking out of prison without keeping up with digital advancements is like emerging from a cave clutching a Nintendo 64 while everyone else is coding in quantum and you’re still trying to pay with Monopoly money in a now cashless society.
My loved ones go about their lives, their stories unfolding; while mine is caught in an endless, irrelevant loop. I’m a ghost, haunting their lives as they deal with issues and overcome hardships, with no ability to help them.