Mistakes (For My Mother Toni)

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She saw his will and was convinced
She listened to his lies and was convinced
She looked into his eyes and trusted his smiles
She was convinced
Fifty years gone and now she’s convinced
That number two is never number one
Her youth is gone–her life almost over
She’s had a harsh reality check–too late to change her choices
All her sacrifices–all for nothing
Now she sits alone with her thoughts and memories
No idle chatter to make with friends
She has none
Too afraid to look into a mirror–a constant reminder of her loss
Waiting for a sound at her front door
Which never comes.
She’s all alone–waiting for her regret
to end.
She saw his will and was convinced
She listened to his lies and was convinced
She looked into his eyes and trusted his smiles
She was convinced
Fifty years gone and now she’s convinced
That number two is never number one
Her youth is gone–her life almost over
She’s had a harsh reality check–too late to change her choices
All her sacrifices–all for nothing
Now she sits alone with her thoughts and memories
No idle chatter to make with friends
She has none
Too afraid to look into a mirror–a constant reminder of her loss
Waiting for a sound at her front door
Which never comes.
She’s all alone–waiting for her regret
to end.
A sweet treat using buy-up staples.
Tired from being told what to do. I am tired of love, tired of being deemed guilty, tired of my own remorse. I am tired of my own self-doubt, my own shadows and especially tired of my own face.
Hate’s a strong word, but for you it’s reserved. I hate what you’ve taken from me, my parents, my childhood and my glee.
My blue eyes look so drained, but I’m strong, I’ll make it through.