I’ve spent most of my adult life behind bars, and I’m not proud to say it. It’s been such a bloody waste.
I’ve missed out on so many important moments, and I’m sure most people reading this would be able to relate to it. It’s no different to any other man or woman who is in my position. I’m sure everyone has sat there on many lonely nights, looked out the window, and thought, “why am I here? I’m worth so much more than this place.”
Then I guess the answer to that question is: “what’s broken, and how can I fix it?”
Well, that can only be answered by you, the individual. Everyone is different, and just because someone was able to fix their life a certain way doesn’t mean it will work for you. My life has got to the point where, if I don’t try to fix what’s broken inside of me, then I may as well just accept that this is my life and continue down this dark and lonely path to nothing. Scary, but that just isn’t my style.
I know I’m a good man who still loves and cares for my family, my children and my grandchildren. I know that I’m worth a lot more to them, and to myself as well. So I found what was broken inside of me, and I asked for help.
Now you have all heard the old saying, “if it ain’t broke, then don’t change it or fix it.” There are so many people who get used to routine and then follow that routine day after day. Then it becomes your life. That’s how life works inside these walls and outside as well.
In jail, the routine goes: 7am muster, collect ya milk, put ya washing out, then we wait to be unlocked. Then, depending on where you’re housed, you’re either locked down or you get let out of ya cell for 2.5 hours. Then it’s lockdown for lunch. Then ya day is over; you’re in your cell for the rest of the day.
So trying to work out, within yourself, what’s broken and how to fix it is hard for most people. But the area that was broken for me was my violent outbursts. I was always flipping my shit and taking it out on anyone and everyone.
I’m in prison for violent offences, and it got me nowhere except prison. So I had to suck up my pride and ask for help. The only course/program I was able to do was something called VPP: Violent Intervention Program.
It’s not a course that takes 6 to 12 weeks to complete. This is a 9 to 12 month program that covers all areas of rehabilitation you can think of.
Now, at first I was like, “yeah, sweet, let’s do this and hurry up.” But I needed to go into this open-minded, and actually wanting to get the best out of the course so I could fix my issues.
So I made a deal with myself: do this properly, and if you can’t get anything from it, then be honest, tell my teacher the truth, and walk away. I went into this program with an open mindset, and once I came to trust my teacher, I was able to let my walls down. Once those walls came down, I felt very vulnerable, but that’s what needed to happen so the course could work for me.
So I have just about completed the program, and I can honestly sit here and say that I’ve fixed what was broken. Now I’m nearly due for parole. I’m able to put together a plan so I can get out and use the things I’ve learnt out there in the community.
I believe that I’m rehabilitated, and I guess only time will tell. But I’m 41 years old, and I’ve just proven that no matter what age you are, if you believe in yourself and open your mind and heart to learning new ways of thinking, then big things can happen.
I was broken, and I have fixed the problem. Now getting released is my next challenge, and I believe that what I’ve done to change has been for the best for me. I just hope that others can do the unknown and work towards becoming the best versions of themselves, not only for themselves, but for the loved ones who support us through our journeys as well.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to write to you guys. Once I’ve got my course completed, I will write again about what we need out there in the community to stay out of this place. A lot needs to change, but that’s another story.
Loyalty and respect,
Andrew
I’ve spent most of my adult life behind bars, and I’m not proud to say it. It’s been such a bloody waste.
I’ve missed out on so many important moments, and I’m sure most people reading this would be able to relate to it. It’s no different to any other man or woman who is in my position. I’m sure everyone has sat there on many lonely nights, looked out the window, and thought, “why am I here? I’m worth so much more than this place.”
Then I guess the answer to that question is: “what’s broken, and how can I fix it?”
Well, that can only be answered by you, the individual. Everyone is different, and just because someone was able to fix their life a certain way doesn’t mean it will work for you. My life has got to the point where, if I don’t try to fix what’s broken inside of me, then I may as well just accept that this is my life and continue down this dark and lonely path to nothing. Scary, but that just isn’t my style.
I know I’m a good man who still loves and cares for my family, my children and my grandchildren. I know that I’m worth a lot more to them, and to myself as well. So I found what was broken inside of me, and I asked for help.
Now you have all heard the old saying, “if it ain’t broke, then don’t change it or fix it.” There are so many people who get used to routine and then follow that routine day after day. Then it becomes your life. That’s how life works inside these walls and outside as well.
In jail, the routine goes: 7am muster, collect ya milk, put ya washing out, then we wait to be unlocked. Then, depending on where you’re housed, you’re either locked down or you get let out of ya cell for 2.5 hours. Then it’s lockdown for lunch. Then ya day is over; you’re in your cell for the rest of the day.
So trying to work out, within yourself, what’s broken and how to fix it is hard for most people. But the area that was broken for me was my violent outbursts. I was always flipping my shit and taking it out on anyone and everyone.
I’m in prison for violent offences, and it got me nowhere except prison. So I had to suck up my pride and ask for help. The only course/program I was able to do was something called VPP: Violent Intervention Program.
It’s not a course that takes 6 to 12 weeks to complete. This is a 9 to 12 month program that covers all areas of rehabilitation you can think of.
Now, at first I was like, “yeah, sweet, let’s do this and hurry up.” But I needed to go into this open-minded, and actually wanting to get the best out of the course so I could fix my issues.
So I made a deal with myself: do this properly, and if you can’t get anything from it, then be honest, tell my teacher the truth, and walk away. I went into this program with an open mindset, and once I came to trust my teacher, I was able to let my walls down. Once those walls came down, I felt very vulnerable, but that’s what needed to happen so the course could work for me.
So I have just about completed the program, and I can honestly sit here and say that I’ve fixed what was broken. Now I’m nearly due for parole. I’m able to put together a plan so I can get out and use the things I’ve learnt out there in the community.
I believe that I’m rehabilitated, and I guess only time will tell. But I’m 41 years old, and I’ve just proven that no matter what age you are, if you believe in yourself and open your mind and heart to learning new ways of thinking, then big things can happen.
I was broken, and I have fixed the problem. Now getting released is my next challenge, and I believe that what I’ve done to change has been for the best for me. I just hope that others can do the unknown and work towards becoming the best versions of themselves, not only for themselves, but for the loved ones who support us through our journeys as well.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to write to you guys. Once I’ve got my course completed, I will write again about what we need out there in the community to stay out of this place. A lot needs to change, but that’s another story.
Loyalty and respect,
Andrew
