My name is Zoe. I am 37 years old and I was in prison for 6 years. I am currently on parole and have been out of prison for a year and a half. Since then I have been a core member of the Formerly Incarcerated Girls Justice Advocates Melbourne (FIGJAM) Collective.

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FIGJAM has supported what’s important to me by helping me advocate for women who are currently in the prison system. I think the peer support we receive within FIGJAM is awesome – we always support one another and lift each other up. I became a FIGJAM member through a worker within Flat Out introducing me to Nina, who is also a FIGJAM member. FIGJAM has changed my life!!

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Through FIGJAM I’ve had opportunities with the arts project through Melbourne University and interviews with several service providers, mostly being paid work. I have also been able to have my rap song that I wrote inside prison played at the end of a podcast I was involved in at 3CR radio station called Untold Stories of Injustice.

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I was part of the research about child protection and criminalisation, but my story was redacted due to me still being on parole. I have to get permission for anything I’m a part of, but being a core member of FIGJAM has built rapport with my PO, which has made me able to get permission to travel interstate. Being a FIGJAM member has given me more skills to work within a group setting as I have autism and find this hard. I’ve also had the courage to chair our FIGJAM meetings.

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Being a core member of FIGJAM has also given me the courage to apply for jobs in the community.

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Won’t Quit

By Zoe from FIGJAM

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I’m working out but I’m feeling so unfit

I’m working hard but I’m really
lacking grit

Lacking the momentum so I really wanna quit

Even though I know

It’s for my benefit

Running fast, then I take another hit

One after the other and I’m being legit

And it’s taking a toll

Making me feel shit

Said I feel so shit

And I really wanna quit

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Chorus:

Keep a schedule cause I thrive on routine

Keep pushing, even when I’m
feeling green

Keep working out so I become lean

God knows

This world can be so mean

So at the moment I train like a machine

Cause I gotta keep my mind and my body clean

Just need god to intervene

And try and contain this wolverine

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Chorus x2:

Keep a schedule cause I thrive on routine

Keep pushing, even when I’m feeling green

Keep working out so I become lean

God knows

This world can be so mean

I’m going so fast but I feel afraid

But I push through to break the barricade

Pain penetrates as I bury the blade

Feel like I’ve been hit with a grenade

No one, no one, will come to my aid

Knowing this

I start to sink and fade

Feeling like I’m in a movie or charade

But the difference is

That I’m not being paid

Before you judge, you don’t know where I’ve been

Even though you know that I’m wearing thin

Even though it’s getting under my skin

I won’t give up until I win

There’s no way I’m gonna pull the pin

I’ll get back up and start again

Like tough love a form of discipline

Until I’m totally clean off the heroin

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Chorus x2:

Keep a schedule cause I thrive on routine

Keep pushing, even when I’m feeling green

Keep working out so I become lean

God knows

This world can be so mean

I’m tryna turn this situation around

Get myself off this merry-go-round

And at the same time

Keep my feet on the ground

But I’m feeling like I’m still chained and bound

Everything keeps going in the background

My head’s been kicked to the ground

Noise and gun shots resound

As I fight in this battleground

There’s something I need to address

Choose your next move in this game of chess

Cause this could all lead to distress

If you don’t act smart or act in duress

If you don’t use brains and use foolishness

If you bury emotions

Choose to compress

Create a mess choose not to express

You will start to lose your happiness

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Chorus x4:

Keep a schedule cause I thrive on routine

Keep pushing, even when I’m feeling green

Keep working out so I become lean

God knows

This world can be so mean